We know each other inside
out; hair and skin and brains
and souls and we’ve held each
others secrets and hands. We
read silences as easy as words.
I’ve told you to fuck off more
than I’ve told you I love you,
but we both know they mean
the same thing.
You are the one that stays.
I’ve stayed for you too.
We save and have been saved;
we both have scars that only
healed because we’ve had each
others hands to hold the skin
It’s not always easy. I’m kind of
shitty and sometimes you are
too, but we keep making it. We
keep choosing forgiveness.
We are chosen family, platonic
soul mates, support systems,
adventurers and mind readers
and I’m so lucky to have a
partner like you.
1. When you cut yourself, clean and bandage it.
2. Do not start smoking cigarettes because the boy who broke your heart does.
3. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.
4. Cutting calories doesn’t do anything but make you unhappy.
5. If the number on the scale rises, throw it out.
6. The first girl you ever “date” is going to call the police on you even though she lives three thousand miles away, because you’re going to tell her that you’re not in a good mental state shortly after you’ve “broken up”.
7. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.
8. Break up with the boy who says, “You had a sexy phase!” when you tell him that you’ve dated a girl before.
9. Dating your friends is not always the best idea, but you can still be friends after you’ve broken up with her.
10. Your mother will try to become your best friend because you’re leaving for college soon. Let her.
11. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.
12. Your closest friend will stop talking to you when you leave for college.
13. It’s okay to cry.
14. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.
15. When you cut yourself again, clean and bandage it. Do not be ashamed.
16. Your anxiety is going to try and control your entire life. Tell it to shut the hell up, because you’re trying to live and that task is hard enough as it is.
17. The past has a funny way of coming back in the form of you developing a crush on another friend.
18. Try not to hate yourself for breaking up with your boyfriend.
19. If you’re still smoking, apologize silently to your mother.
20. When you want to kill yourself, don’t.”
He stares at my arms as if they are some metaphor for who I am.
He does not understand the language of my scars when they tell him,
"Who I am does not live here anymore." He is looking for answers
on my body when all he had to do was look in my mouth.
Crawl into my mouth and down into my heart. Do not get inside my
head. What is in my head is on my hands, for I have written poems
in fresh ink on this paper, and they are accidentally imprinted
and perpetually stained on the lines of my palms.
I’m so proud of you.
I just wanted to tell you
in case no one has.”
o. love will wait for you if it’s real. don’t settle for anything less.
I love you
and I know how simple it sounds,
but I can promise you
that nothing about this love
is a handful of change
and a quarter tank of gas;
it’s a lesson
that adventures can even be found
in nothing but the seat beside you
is an open window
with the screen taken down;
it makes secrets taste like sonnets
and goodnight kisses feel like roses
just beginning to bloom
this love lays me down
and watches me sleep
and kisses my forehead;
I always feel it breathing
even when it’s miles away
this love bites my neck
and draws blood
and romanticizes pain,
but I love the nights
that end in silence
because it makes your voice
sound that much sweeter
is my favorite word
and my worst habit
and the only bridge
I’ve never wanted to burn down.
and I love you.