please pray for my mom. I don’t have time to write a poem or make this beautiful. I’m on my way to the hospital right now and I don’t know when we’ll leave, but she’s going into heart surgery and no one will tell me the 100% story, but she almost passed away in the hospital she was first at, and I’m too in shock to really react to it yet. please, just keep her in your thoughts, or something, anything. There’s a possibility I’ll take a hiatus, but I don’t know anything right now.

09-27 / 2:08 / 8 notes

“You left, dragging my love
in your dirty hands.
all you gave me
were hurricanes in my eyes
and a shipwrecked heart—
hell is empty,
and all the devils are here.
hell is empty,
and boy, you must be homesick.
We were more spellbound
than in love,
more cursed
than enchanted.
You never really cared,
babe, you just destroyed me
softly & up close,
and I swear, I mistook it
all for something perfect.”

a.v., my darling tempest

09-24 / 22:11 / 79 notes

“It’s easy to love someone when they’re happy. What’s hard is loving someone when they’re crying on the bathroom floor at 2am because everything came crashing down at once.”

Midnight thoughts (sometimes I’m a mess)

“i don’t want you
to love me
for my flaws,
i want you
to love me enough,
to demand
that i grow.”

m.v., you can love my skin and hate the scars i put on it. (via findingwordsforthoughts)

“There’s always silence before the storm
and that’s why I never mistake stability
for recovery”

September 13 2014, 23:16 (via passivevoices)

“I knew you would fuck me up. And I let you in anyway.”

Midnight thoughts (I’m so stupid)

“When I was 16,
I was the epitome
of butterflies in empty stomach:
always falling in love
with boys I knew
would leave me hungry
in the end.
Now I’m 17,
swallowing hearts whole
and spitting out bones:
I’m starting to learn
the only person
I need to fall in love with
is myself.”

a.v., a teenage memoir

09-20 / 18:06 / 53 notes

“how to deal with it:

1. stop calling. call everyone else in your phone book with his hair or his eyes or his history with you. pretend it’s him when they say that you’re beautiful. pretend you don’t care that he stopped calling long before you did.
2. keep busy. never be alone with your thoughts in bed long enough to remember the times when he lied here next to you. his arms were the closest you’d felt to safety in years. do not think about this either.
3. do not cry. and if you do, do so silently. you knew this was coming, it should not hurt this bad. tell yourself it does not hurt this bad.
4. move on. but if you cannot bring yourself to do so, tell yourself that it’s not moving on if you’re moving backwards. start talking to your ex again. bury the regret deep behind kissing him. lie and say that you missed it.
5. take down the pictures. take off the jewelry. hang up the dresses. you can take new photos. you can buy yourself new necklaces, new clothes. you cannot erase memories, but you can sure as hell try to.
6. blame him. blame the stars and the sun and space itself. do not cry. this is not anyone’s fault. love happens and then it doesn’t anymore.
7. move on. but if you cannot bring yourself to do so, remember that people loved you before he did. and they will love you after too.
8. do not cry.
9. listen. when they say that this will pass, this numbness that comes with feeling everything all at once, they’re right. this will pass and you will be the only one still here. you will still be here.
10. deal with it.”

jnt: a ten step guide on how to deal with it (via gossamerwishes)

“When I was there
and she was not,
I hope you saw me.
I hope you saw me
and remembered
just how flawless
first love was.”

a.v., Friday night lights

09-20 / 0:53 / 76 notes

“You are not the boy
I should cry over.
You are the broken record
that everyone writes about
in songs and in poetry,
and I have said it before.
You are not liquor.
You are not the hangover
I will eventually get over.
You are not beautiful,
you are dangerous & painful
and I should know that by now.
You are a lost cause.
You are not the boy
who saves me in the end.
You are the temporary,
you are the serendipity
and the evanescence
and the one I never get closure from.
You are not the boy
I’m supposed to fall in love with.
You are not the boy
I want to be missing right now,
but you are. Oh god, you are.”

a.v., the boy

09-18 / 19:27 / 96 notes